You walk down the stairs and find a young man clutching his leg. A shotgun lies on the landing below. He sees you and panics, attempting to run but falling down the stairs instead.

"Stop! It's ok!" you yell. "Can you tell me what is going on? Why did you kill that rabbit?"

"It's dead? Thank GOD!!! It's been tormenting my family for months."

"What was it doing to you?"

"It was stealing all of our eggs!!! We had nothing to eat! It set up a little camp on our fire escape where it would blast Pantera and Joanne Bliaud all night!"

"Really? I haven't heard anything," you reply.

"It's true!!! I swear to GOD!!! Haven't you smelled it???" he yells.

"Now that I think about it... there was a funky smell last night."

"That was him!!! He smelled SO BAD."

"Do you know who Brian is?" you ask.

"Oh... well, yeah...I guess. He dates everyone. I don't know him personally, but I know a lot of people who date him."

"This Brian person sounds pretty hot," you say to yourself.

"NO! Date me instead!" the young man yells.

"What the hell? Don't you have a family?" you ask.

"Just a son. His name is Bobby," he replies.

"How old is Bobby? Is he home?

"No, he's at school. He's 13."

"It's 4 o'clock in the morning!"

"He goes to night school. He wants to be a structural engineer."

"Oh, ok... you know what? I'll go on a date with you... but not because I like you. I don't. However, I like your son and I want to raise him. I think he could become a great man."

"Sounds good!" the man replies.

What a pathetic man.