"No, sorry," you say.

"Damn," he says. He stares at you for several seconds. "You know what? I am so excited. Life is amazing and right now I'm the happiest I will ever be. I get everything I want and I have everything I want. I love cars. But, I love you. And when I want things my way, they go my way!!!!"

The man with many metrocards pulls out a hard-cover copy of The Way Things Ought to Be by Rush Limbaugh and slaps you on the head. You black out.



Continue